Nadite (April) 23rd 1995
Just got back from the shower room with Anastasia. There was a bit of tension in there between Raisa [Raïssa] and I – (however you spell her name). She approached us and stared us down. It was the first time being very close to her. She had a half shaven head with spikey. She was covered in tattoos all over. One tattoo sent me back a few years. It was the sigil of the Exiled tattooed on her forehead. Only Xanxuhrians would possess an evil sigil like that. Mine however isn’t a tattoo. It was burned… into my skin… somehow, on the left side of my chest. Perhaps that drew her attention to me. I continued to stare back at her, but I couldn’t focus properly. She was oddly disproportioned in shape and size despite having a lot of muscle. Inside my head I laughed. I don’t think she really cared; she was a threat to almost everyone. I have yet to know if I’ll be a victim of her misdeeds. She continued to stare at me. I felt terrified just by her stare. Her eyes were like daggers piercing into my heart. I wonder if she knew who I was. She dropped a bar of soap on the floor and demanded that I pick it up. Being the “brave” girl I was I stood there as if I was ready to fight her. I didn’t know what to do. I thought to myself, should I do as she says or not? She took a step closer and bent down until she was at eye level and insisted that I pick it up. Looking behind her there were five other girls, all with dead looks in their eyes stepping closer at the ready. I began to tremble with fear. She had quite a bad smell from her mouth as she spoke. I tried to avoid the smell and held my breath in split intervals. Ana had picked up the soap bar and handed it over. Raisa had very little respect for her… well from what I can gather. She snatched the soap from her and exited the shower room with the rest of her crew.
Nothing much happened after we left and went back to our cells for lockdown. Ana and I spoke after and asked if I was crazy. I refused to answer. I asked “Why should I be a bitch to someone bigger than me?”
“You could’ve gotten beaten up or even killed!” She silently exclaimed. I didn’t really think much of the situation. She’s been a target to Raisa since being in prison. She cuddled up next to me and told me that she’s scared. She hasn’t told me the whole story. Maybe she doesn’t want me to get into her dilemma.
After a few minutes of cuddling she went to bed. I waited some time – ten minutes to be exact before she fell asleep so I could write to you…
I feel sleepy now. My hands weaken and my head nods constantly as I battle to stay awake. I don’t feel this was the least interesting entry tonight…
I just remembered that I should’ve been continuing from yesterday… I got so sidetracked by that situation in the shower room.
I don’t want to drag this on for too long. I’ll be sure to continue tomorrow providing that there aren’t any dramas. I’ll be in the library; so I’ll be able to focus, meditate and … pray to the High Celestials.
Speak to you tomorrow.
Your only daughter,