Nadite 28th 1995
I’ll keep it short today. I haven’t been feeling quite myself today. I feel so over burdened like as if there is a dark, heavy spirit lingering over me. My shoulders feel on edge with the weight of despair. I feel restless.
As a matter of fact I had another frightening dream. This time it got so bizarre and scary that I was troubled through the entire day. Ana tried to engage in conversation with me but I was not even present. The dream is still vivid as if I was actually there. I can’t remember exactly the order the events happened but they scared me. At one point I saw group of criminals rampaging through a center (shopping center? underground subway?), they had guns and opened fire on innocent people. I was held at gunpoint. Thinking back now, they looked like they were working for the cartel. The same group that attacked us. Hypothetical speaking. However, the imagery wasn’t so clear to identify them. Then suddenly their was an abrupt transition, I remember being at a funeral service of some sort. It was a full house I reckon. There was a casket being carried out of the building through the aisle by six men all dressed in black. I followed after them. There at the back of what I assumed is a church, a deceased body laying down on what appeared to be an alter. I walked through the crowd and approached the altar… I couldn’t believe it… it was… you. You… came back to life. You looked troubled as if you weren’t ready to die. It was as if you was refusing to be put down. It upsets me just by thinking of it. You were gone too soon. I wish I could relive those days together.
Something else occurred in the dream. I was stranded on a rocky island surrounded by a tempest. The sky was two-toned from purple to bright orange. I stared off into the setting sun. There was a dark spirit in the atmosphere. I was suddenly struck by a relentless force which ended my life. I felt my soul disperse from my body. Like a gust of wind I flew through the air into… nothingness. Nothing seemed to had happened. I don’t know what message was being conveyed. It was sublime and haunting.
I don’t know how much more of this place I can take… it’s starting to get to me very slowly.
Am I going insane? I don’t know for sure. Probably.
Your only daughter,